


Little Red Riding Hood

by EmilyFairy



Category: Whose Line Is It Anyway? RPF
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Humor, Kissing, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-20
Updated: 2006-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-24 09:00:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14352231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmilyFairy/pseuds/EmilyFairy
Summary: During a game of "Whose Line", Ryan is the Big Bad Wolf and Colin is Little Red Riding Hood.





	Little Red Riding Hood

**Author's Note:**

> The companion piece is _As You Wish_ , which I also just posted. Please read that first.

_Little Red Riding Hood_  
_You sure are looking good_  
_You're everything that a Big Bad Wolf could want..._

\--"Little Red Riding Hood", Sam the Sham, 1966.

***

"And now it's time for a game called 'Whose Line'," Drew says, shuffling the cards at his desk. "This is for Ryan and Colin. Come on down here, guys."

Ryan sighs and hoists himself up from his chair. Another day, another game, another star turn with his best friend. Colin beats him to the front of the stage like usual. Ryan doesn't know where the hell he gets all that energy from. He knows Colin gets tired just like the rest of them, but he's so good at hiding when he's hurt or just plain feeling bad that you'd never know it to look at him. 

"Now," says Drew. "In this game, I'll give Ryan and Colin a little scene to improvise. So here's how it works. Before the show we ask the audience to write down lines, and we pick out a couple of the best ones and put them in these envelopes. Ryan and Colin will be using the lines, which they've never seen before, randomly in the scene. It's a lot of fun, right, guys?" 

Ryan grunts something that sounds vaguely affirmative, while Colin beams out at the audience, giving them his trademark thumbs up. 

Drew hands out the envelopes. Ryan opens his and pushes his lines into his pocket, and beside him Colin does the same. When they return to center stage, Colin looks over his shoulder at Ryan and grins at him, nudging Ryan with his toe. Ryan shakes his head, and allows his lips to quirk into a tiny smile, just for a second. 

"Okay, Ryan and Colin, your scene is... Ryan is the Big Bad Wolf, and Colin..." Drew snickers, but tries to cover it up with one hand. "I'm sorry. Colin, you are Little Red Riding Hood. And you are taking a basket of goodies to your Grandma."

"Of course I am," Colin says, accepting his fate with a good-natured duck of his head. 

"Well, at least you're not an _animal_ ," Ryan mutters, which makes Drew burst out laughing. 

"They know you so well, Ryan," he says, and Ryan glares at him. Drew immediately drops his eyes to the card. "Right. So let's start the scene. Go ahead, whenever you're ready." 

"Lalalalala!" Colin sings as he skips around the stage, tossing imaginary flowers everywhere from the invisible basket he's clutching in one hand. "Oh, I'm so happyhappyHAPPY!" And he stretches his whole face into an absurd smile. 

Ryan skulks up behind Colin. "Why, hello there, Little Red Riding Hood."

Colin squeaks and spins towards Ryan, his eyes round with fear. "How did you know my name?"

"Little black book," Ryan says nonchalantly, stepping close enough to breathe into Colin's face. "Got the names of all the available ladies in the area." 

Colin uses his "basket" to shield himself. "Well, I'm certainly not 'available', for your information. I'm just trying to get to my Grandma's house!"

"Really? Your Grandma, you say?" And Ryan licks his lips. "Is she... plump? Juicy?"

"No, she's pale and sickly and very, very skinny," Colin says. "She looks like Ryan Stiles, actually." 

Ryan's lips twitch, while Colin's eyes twinkle. "Ryan Stiles? Good looking guy," he says. "You know, I met him once. He told me..." And Ryan pulls out his first line. "He told me, 'The world is a vampire.'" 

"That's very profound," Colin says, batting his eyelashes.

"Isn't it, though? That Ryan, he's a deep, deep man."

"Yeah, deep as a thin crust pizza," Colin agrees, and Ryan smacks him while the audience giggles. 

"Ouch!" Colin rubs his cheek, pouting prettily. "You're just a big, bad wolf!" 

"In the flesh," Ryan agrees, leering at Colin. "Speaking of flesh..." And he lunges for Colin, trying to chomp into his neck. Somehow, he can't resist doing things like that with Colin. It's like his skin's just made for licking and kissing and biting... 

Colin shrieks and scampers away. "This is not helping me get to my Grandma's house! In fact, if my Grandma was here, do you know what she would say? She would tell me..." And Colin pauses, reaching for the first piece of paper in his pocket. "'Chain me to the walls and devour me whole!'" 

Ryan licks his chops. "With pleasure," he says, slinking towards Colin step by step, like a predator going in for the kill. 

"No, no!" Colin protests. "That's just..." He laughs nervously as Ryan moves closer, circling him. "That's just what my Grandma says. That's not me. I'm the good one!" And he mimes a halo over his head for a moment. Ryan shakes his head and changes it to devil horns, causing the audience to break out in applause. "Anyway, aren't you supposed to eat her first?"

"Maybe," Ryan growls, running his "paw" seductively down the front of Colin's shirt, "there's been a change of plans." 

Colin shivers, and Ryan can actually feel Colin's racing heartbeat. "I... uh... oh!" Colin stammers, and Ryan knows that it isn't an act. For the first time since that silly yet exquisitely wonderful kiss during "Film Noir" last summer, Ryan has managed to break Colin's composure in the middle of a scene. 

He grins rather wolfishly and wonders to himself what he should do with this little situation. It happens so rarely, Colin losing control. And then it comes to him. "Little Red Riding Hood," he says after a moment, deliberately stepping slightly away. "Why don't you run?"

Colin meets his eyes for a moment, and Ryan gulps when he sees the desire in Colin's eyes. Colin almost always acts perfectly repulsed by all of Ryan's little advances on stage. Sometimes Ryan is a bit hurt by it, but he understands that it's a game, something he can only get away with on stage because they're friends-- married, straight family men to the rest of the world. 

Ryan sometimes wishes it wasn't a game. 

Colin breaks away from him, taking the bait just like Ryan hoped he would. He runs through the audience, with Ryan following close behind him. Ryan chases him up and down the aisles, and then Colin dashes behind Drew, who's laughing his ass off, like usual. 

"Man," Ryan can hear him saying as he approaches. "Man, oh man. No one does a chase scene like you two." 

Colin jumps when Ryan almost pounces on him, and takes off again, bolting across the back of the stage, behind the chairs. Wayne and Greg turn to watch him, blinking and exchanging amused glances. And Ryan grins as Colin runs offstage, into that dim alcove just behind the piano...

Even though he has a stitch in his side and his back is on fire, Ryan quickens his pace to join Colin before he comes back out again. Ryan's heart is thudding in his chest, and he doesn't think it's from all of the running. 

He steps into the grey, leaving the lights of the stage behind. It's like another world back here, quiet and private. Colin sags against the wall, catching his breath. When he sees Ryan he immediately straightens up, but Ryan takes a couple long strides and grabs onto his arm before he can run off. He motions for Colin to turn off the battery back to his microphone, then turns off his own. He doesn't want anyone to hear what they're doing back here. 

"Caught ya," he murmurs.

"What if I wanted to be caught?" Colin asks, voice trembling as Ryan steps closer, pressing him against the wall. "Ry, what are you doing? Your eyes are huge, and your mouth..." 

"The better to kiss you with," Ryan says, watching the way Colin's eyes widen, the way his lips part, the way his breathing quickens. He can smell Colin's aftershave, something clean and a little spicy. 

Ryan's head feels like it's floating ten feet above his body and he goes for it, ducking his head a little to meet Colin's tilted lips. Soft and heat and flashes like electric lightning, crackling every time they touch, and how the hell did Ryan live without this for so long? Why did he even try? Because this is his best friend, the person who knows him better than anyone, knows without any previous experience that he likes having his lower lip sucked, that he likes the feel of large fingers combing through the hair on the back of his neck, that the taste of cool water mixed with sugar donut is the sexiest thing on the planet as far as he's concerned... 

And when he pulls away, he almost blacks out when he sees Colin's eyes, dark and glazed and wanting, _needing_ him. And his lips are a deep cherry color, raw and kissed and smiling. 

Ryan wants to stay, wants to kiss him some more, but he has to pull himself together, so he turns and walks back towards the stage, pretending like nothing happened, trying to get the raging fire under control. He glances back over his shoulder and Colin is still against the wall-- stunned, blinking, running his fingers over his lips. 

"C'mon," Ryan hisses, stretching out his hand towards Colin. "We gotta get back out there, or they're gonna come in after us." 

Colin nods, and smoothes his hair. He follows Ryan back out to the stage, and both of them turn their battery packs on as they take their seats. Ryan tries to pretend like everybody's not staring at him, and the silence fills his ears like a roar. 

"Hey, welcome back," Drew says after a moment, laughing.

"We thought maybe you ate Colin back there," Greg adds, raising one eyebrow. Ryan feels his face heat up, and beside him Colin takes a giant gulp of water. 

"Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that," Drew says, and Ryan thinks to himself that if he had a nickel for every time Drew said, "Boy, if I had a nickel..." he would be a rich, rich man. "You didn't even finish the scene, you know. You still had lines left to do." 

Ryan shrugs, and glances at Colin, who bites his lip and nods. They both pull their last lines out of their pockets. "'I taste like candy, wanna lick?'" Colin reads, and Ryan tries not to visualize licking sweetness from Colin's skin... 

"'Twenty five cent peeps!'" Ryan exclaims in a hoarse voice, and the audience cheers. 

And Drew sighs. "Well, there goes another scene that'll never see the light of day." 

But somehow, Ryan doesn't feel sorry. Beside him, Colin's face is neutral, put together, calm. Like it never happened, but Ryan knows better. And as Drew starts setting up the next game, Ryan wonders to himself what's real and what isn't.

Is it part of the game? Ryan doesn't know, doesn't care. Because at least he did it once. He kissed Colin, and it was real. For once, it was real.


End file.
